Balancing Life and Legacy

Everything in life is about balance. Timing and balance.

I’m getting older. At 53, I’ve seen more from life than I ever thought I would. I never thought I’d make it to this point—growing up, I didn’t even see a life for myself past my thirties. I’ve always thought once you hit 50, that was it. It was time. But here we are.

It’s easy to forget all the obstacles that led me to where I am. All the punches I had to take to get here. They say, ‘God gives his toughest battles to his best soldiers.’ There’s a lot of truth to that.

I recently learned my life path has been set on hard mode, or “god mode.” Everything is supposed to be hard for me. I’m built to go through everything.

Before I even knew about my life path, my purpose in life, I had the words tattooed underneath across my belly button in Cambodian that translate to, "Hang in there through everything."

Is it a coincidence that I have it tattooed on me way before even knowing who I was destined to be?

No, there are no such things as coincidences.

Overtime, I’ve developed a thick skin. A hustle mentality.

I’ve paid my dues, spent decades living what feels like a second life in the studio. Sacrificing time with my family in the process.

And I’m nowhere near ready to stop. I’m not ready to even slow down. But at the same time, I’m more aware of the fact that there’s a clock ticking. That life doesn’t last forever. Father Time is upon us. Soon, God will need me. I need to hurry. The sense of urgency feels heightened more than ever.

So often, the people with the most life left to live end up leaving this world early. A lot of good people don’t get to live a full life — or at least, that’s how it seems on the outside looking in. Even the most influential person who ever lived, Jesus, died at 33.

But I believe God has a plan. Everyone has their own purpose, their own journey.

I don’t know what mine has in store. No one does. But what I do know is that I’ve got to find a way to maintain balance—both in and out of the shop. I’ve got to live every day with intention, fulfilling what I was meant to achieve as a lifepath 33.

There’s so much I have left to teach the people around me, especially when it comes to my Skin Design family. So much to pass down to my apprentices, to the next generation of artists.

And there’s so many lessons left for me to learn along the way.

Finding Time, Finding Purpose

This past weekend felt like a test.

Me and 2 other SDT artists flew to Los Angeles, California, to work on another anesthesia tattoo collaboration. A total of 5 artists, including myself, ready for another adventure. This time 2 clients, husband and wife, both back to back days. There was so much to do — and, like always, not enough time to make it all happen. The big Golden State Tattoo Expo is coming up. It’s crunch time.

The thing is, lack of time isn’t an excuse. Even when I was notified a week prior and had to change all my schedule. When something needs to be done, I’ll make it work. I’ll stay up all night if I need to, for as many nights as it takes.

People ask me all the time, ‘How do you do it?’

How do I find balance in what I do, between tattooing, running multiple shops, and family?

For me, it’s not a matter of “how.” It’s just that it needs to be done, so I just do it. After all, I'm built for this.

It’s hard. The truth is, when it comes to my work-life and personal-life, there is no balance. There’s only the calluses you build from all the blows you take, each one reminding you that there’s something greater waiting for you at the end—if you can withstand the punches.

I grew up having to fight to survive. Even now, that’s not something you just forget. It sticks with you.

That’s just something you have to accept when you choose to have your own studio. When you choose to be an entrepreneur.

There is a reason why not every tattoo artist has or even wants a shop of their own.

The amount of time away from your family, the dedication to your work required alone can discourage anyone. Not to mention losing people you grew to trust, love, and would do anything for along the way.

The pain can be too much to handle. To try to adopt new strangers and turn them into family members again, inviting them to your house, breaking bread with their families, watching your kids get close to theirs. It hurts, trying to explain to your kids why they’re suddenly not in your lives anymore.

That’s why I built Skin Design around the pillars of love, respect, integrity and loyalty. The people who take those values to heart are always made better for it.

But not everyone is made the same. Everyone has different purposes in life. We all have our own passions, our own strengths. Our own stories.

It’s about finding your place in the world and owning your role.

Some people were born to be doctors, healing the sick, creating healthier societies. Others were born to be leaders, shaping the paths of those around them. Others were born to be mothers, to nurture their children and leave a piece of themselves in the next generation.

Not everyone was made to work 7 days a week, to spend their lives grinding, creating, dedicating themselves (mind and body) to their work.

But when that is your calling, you feel it. You know it. It’s second nature—almost like you have no other choice. And forcing yourself to go against your intuition is almost like going into a ring with no experience—not knowing what’s going to happen.

Sure, we all want to be great at what we do—but everyone has their limits. It takes a lot to be great.

The Art of Prioritization

The day I was leaving for California, half the designs still needed to be completed for our clients.

Between adding more ink to my daughter's leg sleeve, preparing for our upcoming Golden State Expo pieces with my apprentice McKenna, designing for Christina and I’s Golden State collaboration project, working on McKenna’s leg sleeve with Amanda, working on the final touches on my upcoming book, mentoring, and everything else going on—late night studio sessions weren’t enough to finalize the designs.

I never want to disappoint a client. I’ll do whatever it takes, stretch myself paper thin if I have to, to make sure their vision comes to life. To translate their legacy into ink.

I’m just trying to figure out how to prioritize my own legacy in the process—my family.

Before my flight, I took my wife and youngest daughter, Vanna, to the beach.

Sometimes, my best work is done under the weight of immense pressure.

Other times, taking a pause, to center myself in the moment, helps me dig even deeper. Find even more inspiration.

Taking that time to walk with my family on the shore, playing in that ocean water to soak in their love and the Hawaiian sunshine, not only reminded me why I do it—why I push myself so hard—but helped me find a lot of clarity in the art I was creating.

It’s all about balance.

More Than Just Ink: Leadership in Anesthesia

There’s something about anesthesia collabs that makes them unpredictable. They never follow as planned.

Maybe it’s another way for God to challenge me, to help keep me humble. Keep me adaptable.

Maybe it’s just the nature of anesthesia tattoos.

There was a lot to do, beyond our typical workload. What was supposed to be a 4-artist collaboration ended up with 5 of us.

Typically, we focus on creating new art. Black and gray realism, portraits, placement, the movement of the piece across the body—that’s what I’m mostly known for: the flow.

But this time, our client ended up asking us to do something a little different than what I had spent hours designing for him.

He asked that, while they were under anesthesia for their veneers, we work on touching up his existing tattoos instead. Tie it all in and bring it back to life. And so that’s what we ended up doing—him a favor.

We’re here to serve our clients. We’re flexible. Especially if they’re good to us.

But it can be tricky.

During one of the sessions, it felt like we were competing for the space we needed to work on the tattoos. While working on her arm, only 2 or 3 of us could be tattooing at the same time.

It was intense. The pressure of it all, the art, the time limit, keeping the team morale high, making sure our clients leave happy—it can be a lot.

It’s my responsibility to lead the team, to guide them through it.

By the time we were finished with the collabo, I couldn’t be more proud of my team. I couldn’t do it without them.

As much as I love sessions like these, the adrenaline, the pressure of it all, and the moment of celebration when we share at the end of it, I know I’ll have to step back eventually. Move in a different direction.

It’s my goal that I give my guys the strength, knowledge, and confidence to continue without me when that day comes.

I know my team is hungry. They’re motivated for more. They’re still young.

It’s up to me to teach them what they need to know about navigating that success as it continues to find them.

People say that money changes people. It doesn’t, really. It brings out who you already were.

The people who were genuinely hardworking and humble before the money won’t see it as something they’re entitled to. They’ll see it as a hard-earned blessing, one they can share with the people around them.

It’s my responsibility to teach my team the value of the dollar, but also the value of integrity. In staying firm in your principles, maintaining respect, and taking care of the team.

Balance.

I’ve got to make sure that the Skin Design culture outlives me. Our brand was built around trust, respect, and loyalty.

I want my team to see that I put them first. For a long time, our industry has normalized artists having to take jabs, take disrespect — and I think a lot of that has to do with the stigma that’s surrounded our work for so long.

But we’re past that. That’s not what will make our industry sustainable.

As a leader, I’m here to show my team that they come before money. I have to show them that sometimes, you have to draw a line in the sand. Create boundaries. Sometimes, it’s not worth the cost—and I’m not talking about finances.

Because family is what really makes you rich. And every single member of the Skin Design Tattoos community is family. My ohana.

And these are the artists that are going to continue building on the SDT empire. They’re the future.

One day, I won’t be here to lead. It will be someone else’s time to rise, to guide the team through anesthesia collaborations and everything else it takes to run Skin Design, juggling the differences in personalities and perspectives along the way.

Part of leadership is understanding that things won’t always go smoothly. Life is full of battles. It’s how you adapt to them — and how you protect your team — that really matters.

We’re all human. There will be situations that will get the best of you.

But, how you handle the aftermath defines your leadership. Having the maturity to set your ego aside and recognizing your faults along the way. You’ve got to have the awareness to turn missteps into an opportunity to learn, to grow. A chance to let your team learn from your mistakes.

Those are the lessons I pray are passed along to those that come after me.

I’m here to lead by example — for as long as I can.

It’s a lot to balance, a lot to take in.

It takes a lot out of me, too.

But I know it’s about more than just me.

I trust in the process. I trust in God’s plan for me. And I trust that, with time, my team will continue to raise the standards of our industry. Push boundaries. Innovate the art that we love—solidifying our culture with each stroke of the needle.

Because that’s the Skin Design legacy.